By Grace Kimathi, author, Heart to Heart
Any married person will tell you that marriage isn’t a walk in the park. Or is it? How so with so many potential areas of conflict that can be marriage-killers stalking couples all the time: money, communication, relatives, sex, traditions, and faith?
God knew about all these. So, He made principles to guide newlyweds. Don’t think for one moment that Adam and Eve did not have general rules to live by, not just to make their marriage bearable, but thrilling enough to go the distance. One of these principles is “leaving, cleaving, and becoming one.”
“Leaving” is not abandonment, but rather a psychological, physical, emotional, and legal transformation of relationships including family and friends. And one has to “leave” for “cleaving” and “becoming one” to take place. There’s no shortcut.
Take, for example, when a couple are united physically. The two must be emotionally, mentally, and psychologically prepared to participate fully and enjoy sexual intimacy. This gives both spouses a pleasurable experience despite their different needs, expectations, and even priorities. Sexual intimacy is a gift for those who have left, cleaved, and become one.
Money also matters. Not everyone knows how to handle it wisely. My suggestion is that whoever is better gifted to handle money should be entrusted with the family finances. It is interesting that many couples take joint responsibility for their children, have common relatives, and a common bed, but they differ when it comes to finances.
Some people feel that their hard earned money is a personal responsibility that shouldn’t be interfered with. When money matters are guarded so jealously, transparency and accountability are thrown out of the window. Yet, discussing money matters openly can remove lots of strain in a marriage and help the couple spend more wisely. Suffice to say that someone’s willingness, or lack of it, to discuss finances reveals the attitudes about what they value most.
Watch Part One Of Grace Kimathi’s K24 interview