The Secrets to a Happy Marriage – Part 2: Building Hedges

By Grace Kimathi, author, Heart to Heart

How do you treat the things that you wish to preserve? The things you hope would endure? You protect them, not so? Just the thought of long-term sustainability changes perspective, doesn’t it?

Marriage was built to last. It was never meant to be a matter of ‘try and see.’ It isn’t about having one foot in, while the other foot is stuck in singlehood. Marriage needs a fresh perspective: work. Imperfect raw material, two mortals, man and woman, uniting to build a marriage that pleases God – ‘till death do us part.’

Perhaps the question then would be, ‘protect marriage from what?’ Temptation. Infidelity. Pornography. Deception. Betrayal. You have the responsibility to protect your marriage from being yet another statistic. So, how do you ‘insulate’ your marriage and preserve it for the long haul, ‘till death do you part’?

Build hedges around your marriage:


  • To protect from imagining that the grass is “always greener on the other side.” If you think that the grass on the other side is greener, then water the grass on your side to make it the greenest of them all.
  • To protect from porn or cyber sex, which pollute, captivate, and addict people’s minds. A hedge helps keep our minds on the good, the pure, the noble, the lovely thoughts, and preserves the couples’ admiration for each other.
  • To protect couples from unwise comparisons, like contrasting their relationship to that of their parents. They are simply not comparable; comparing a mother to a wife or a father to a husband. However, we can ask parents how they managed as husband and wife.
  • To stem the urge to ‘change’ a spouse to suit our ideal picture of a partner. If we were made exactly the same, one of us would be redundant in a marriage. God intended us to be different, so that we could complement each other. It is beyond us to convince, convict, and covert our spouses. Any changed spouse would be a poor shadow of what God intended him or her to be, unless it’s the Holy Spirit’s work. Accepting the differences will make us suitable companions.

So, to preserve your marriage, you’ve got to protect it. To protect it, you’ve got to build hedges. This takes nothing short of absolute commitment.

Watch Part Two Of Grace Kimathi’s K24 interview